Which leads me to why swine flu is stupid. If I were to worry about anything—and I don’t—swine flu would be pretty near the bottom of the list. Here’s a list of things that are a higher priority of things to worry about:
# Dying alone.
# Not getting recognized for your genius.
# Settling for a shitty job.
# Getting married.
Just to be clear, not getting married isn’t a problem, getting married is. Most people, due to fears of dying alone, will marry some jackass because they think nothing better will come along. They’re usually right. But even if you find someone who isn’t a total cock, marrying them will ruin everything because marriage is a false institution, and a waste of time and money. Cancel that big wedding party and buy a house, dipshits! Nobody wants to go to wedding parties. Besides, big gatherings lend themselves to communicable diseases. Holy shit that was a sweet transition.
(via The Best Page in the Universe)
It’s been so long since my tween days of reading every word this guy said that I kind of forgot how exactly I agree with him.
(via thegrumples)
OMG TOTALLY ME TOO! if i had to make a timeline of the major epochs in the history of my life online, there would be the shitty geocities webpage making era, the neopets era, the sailor moon obsession era, the thebestpageintheuniverse.com era which was simultaneous with the homestarrunner era, then a time when all i did was download things off napster look at imdb and people’s livejournals, and then wikipedia and facebook, which brings us more or less to now, a time of google reader and tumblr. although really i do enjoy going to wedding parties. everything about my personality dictates that i should hate them but curiously i don’t.
