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Aziz on Fresh Air

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=123367791

this happened a few days ago but i just now noticed it. here are some pieces I like that I have transcribed for you in case you’re at the library and you forgot your ear buds or you’re in your apartment and you don’t want the tinny sound of other people’s voices on the internet to bounce off your naked walls and remind you of your loneliness.

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Aziz: What if each time you came back from a clip i was just sitting here laughing so hard at my own stuff? Like hahahah god, oh god Terry take a break, I forgot that bit it’s so funny! HAHAHAHA and you’re like oh my god, this guy’s really full of himself.

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Terry: You did create an alter ego comedian named Randy, which you portrayed in Funny People and there’s some really funny - you can find these on youtube - some really funny—
Aziz: Wait you’re not gonna play any excerpts from Randy?
T: Oh, they’re so filthy there’s absolutely, there’s no word I could probably play- 
A: Wait can you.. can you guys.. can you say ‘tatties’?   That’s not even a real word. That’s a word that randy made up. Tatties. Let’s just both say tatties. Terry, can you say tatties real quick, just do to it?
T: Oh no I would never say that word.
A: But it’s not a real word! Randy made up that word!
T: I know, I know.
A: You can say it.
T: You’re gonna make me say it.
A: It’ll be a landmark moment for NPR if you just said tatties one time. It’s not a real word, they don’t have to bleep it. It’s an imaginary word.
T: Put it in a sentence for me.
A: “….Look at those tatties.”
T: Hahahahaha
A: Hahahaha they gotta let this on. Please? 
T: Ok imaginary scenario: a 4-yr-old says to his mother, “Mommy, what’s a
tattie?” 
A: She’ll be like, I dunno, is that something you heard on NPR?
T: Then it must mean an intellectual endeavor involving…
A: Tatties refers to an ancient form of violin playing… originating in Denmark.
T: Thank you. Tatties.. that’s one of my favorite forms of music.
A: You said tatties! There you go!

 omg

omg

suhweeeet

suhweeeet

sometimes on sundays i like to subtly nudge people into thinking they have a craving for chick fil a (“regular fries are so meager, don’t you like it when they’re huge and gridlike?” “lemonade is a very excellent drink.” “i like icedreams.”) just to remind them of what they can’t have. other times it is more fun to be overt.
this is the third post in a row i’ve begun with ‘sometimes.’ i wonder what’s happening to me.

sometimes on sundays i like to subtly nudge people into thinking they have a craving for chick fil a (“regular fries are so meager, don’t you like it when they’re huge and gridlike?” “lemonade is a very excellent drink.” “i like icedreams.”) just to remind them of what they can’t have. other times it is more fun to be overt.

this is the third post in a row i’ve begun with ‘sometimes.’ i wonder what’s happening to me.

dog-paddling in a sea of confusion

sometimes it takes five years of friendship to discover that your friend, after not that many drinks at all, inexplicably begins calling the downtown convenience “Lay Z Shopper” store, which is nothing more than a normal, regular convenience store that doesn’t sell/resemble rabbits in any way, the “Lazy Bunny.” and the dozens of times you ask for an explanation (“Why are you calling it the Lazy Bunny? Who told you to say this? Why are you doing this to me?”), all you get is, “It’s just… I want… Can we go to the Lazy Bunny? or the Taco Bell?”

so you give up and you go to the Taco Bell. there are just some phenomena that can’t be logically explained. pray that you have the grace to accept them.

sometimes, usually at night, i get this feeling that everyone is allocated a finite number of exclamation points that they are allowed to use in a lifetime, and once they’ve used their last one they will be instantly dead. and then i create a terrible mental image where my hands are my hands, and the exclamation points i’m using are grains of sand, and the terrible speed at which the sands are running through my fingers is the rate at which i’m using them, and the evil thing standing over my shoulder pouring lubricant on the whole sand-hands-me scenario to hasten the flow is Having To Communicate With People I Don’t Really Know Via Email or Facebook or Any Text at All So I Set an Overly Cheery/Excited Tone to Mask My Discomfort. it is raining outside right now so maybe that will help me sleep.

this is a cool video

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic blog.

-Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis

activities performed with natgeo going on in the background

so far today i have eaten 2 gummy-vites, vacuumed, and found a nice japanese internet clock that shows me a different boy holding up a sign telling me what minute it is for every minute in the day, or sometimes the same boy holding the sign for several consecutive minutes

dear followers,
2010: Year of the Switchblade Comb??
together, we can make anything happen.
<3
anna

dear followers,

2010: Year of the Switchblade Comb??

together, we can make anything happen.

<3

anna